For decades, the traditional Kenyan family setup has been clear-cut: the man leaves for work, and the woman either stays at home or juggles work and household duties. But today, an increasing number of men are embracing remote work, while their wives take on office jobs.
This shift is driven by the post-pandemic rise of remote jobs, tech advancements, the desire to work abroad from home, and changing gender roles.
While some couples celebrate the flexibility and increased family time, others struggle with societal expectations, financial concerns, and shifting power dynamics in the home.
So, what does it mean to be a remote husband in Kenya today?
For Bruce Mutuku, a 29-year-old IT consultant, working from home started as a temporary arrangement during the Covid-19 pandemic. But when his company adopted a permanent hybrid model, he embraced the opportunity to work remotely full-time.
"My wife works in banking, so she’s out by 7am. I handle morning school drop-offs, then settle into my home office. I have meetings and projects, but I also step in to help with house chores. When our daughter returns, I take a break to check on their homework before resuming work."
Mr Mutuku enjoys the setup, but admits that society is yet to fully accept it.
"At first, my friends would joke about me being a ‘househusband.’ Even my own mother worried that my wife was now ‘the head of the house.’ But this job pays well, and I’m present for my family. Isn’t that what matters?"
Bruce Mutuku is an IT expert and digital marketer.
Photo credit: George Mwendwa | Nation Media Group
His wife, Faith Mwende, finds the arrangement a relief.
"I no longer have to rush home to prepare dinner or worry about our daughter staying long at the daycare. He’s hands-on, and our home is more balanced. The only challenge is people assuming he is jobless just because he works from home."
Societal Pushback: “Is He Still a Man?”
Despite the practical benefits, Kenyan society still largely equates masculinity with physically leaving the house for work. Many men struggle with judgment from family and friends.
Allan Lawrence, a career coach, notes that while more women have entered the workforce, the expectation that men should be the primary providers remains.
"A man working from home challenges the ‘alpha male’ narrative. In many cultures, if a man isn’t seen leaving the house for work, he’s considered lazy or weak. This can lead to stigma, even if he’s earning more than his wife."
Some wives also feel pressured to explain their husband’s work setup.
"Whenever I say my husband works remotely, people assume he lost his job," says Caroline Mugo, whose husband is a remote software developer.
"One of my aunties even told me, ‘A real man leaves the house in the morning.’ But what if he earns in dollars while those leaving home early make peanuts?"
These attitudes make some men defensive about their roles, struggling to redefine masculinity in a digital world.
With men spending more time at home, one would expect a more even distribution of household chores. But is that really the case?
Allan Lawrence is a career coach and mentor.
Photo credit: George Mwendwa | Nation Media Group
According to a study by the African Gender Institute, even when men work remotely, women still do a majority of housework. Many remote husbands focus strictly on their jobs, while their wives—who work full-time outside the home—still return to cook, clean, and manage childcare.
"My husband works from home, but that doesn’t mean he does housework," says Yvonne Ochango, whose husband is a remote project manager.
"He’s glued to his laptop all day. If I don’t delegate chores, nothing gets done. Sometimes, I wish he would at least help with meal preparation or laundry."
However, some remote husbands are actively involved in domestic duties. Michael Wambua, a Nairobi-based freelance writer, says working from home has deepened his appreciation for housework.
"I used to think my wife had it easy. Now I see how demanding house chores can be. We’ve split responsibilities—she cooks in the evening while I handle cleaning and taking care of our baby. It works for us."
This raises the question: Is remote work shifting gender roles enough, or are women still carrying the heavier load despite working full-time jobs?
A shift in traditional roles can sometimes create tensions, especially when the wife earns more.
For Joseph and Miriam, who have been married for seven years, this transition has been bumpy. Joseph, an accountant, lost his job in 2021 and transitioned into remote freelancing. Meanwhile, Miriam, an HR manager, received a promotion and now earns nearly twice his income.
"At first, I felt demoralised and my ego was badly scathed. I was used to providing everything, but suddenly, she was paying the bigger bills," Joseph admits.
Miriam, however, insists that Joseph’s contributions—both financially and within the home—are invaluable.
"Yes, I pay more bills, but Joseph is managing our investments and helping raise our son. I respect his role, but I know some men would struggle with this setup."
Relationship counsellor Joy Njoki warns that shifting power dynamics can lead to resentment if not addressed.
"Men who feel their masculinity is threatened may withdraw emotionally or become overly controlling in other areas. Open communication and mutual respect are key to making it work."
The trend of remote husbands is set to grow, driven by the tech industry, freelancing, and global job opportunities. However, experts argue that social attitudes need to catch up.
"We must normalise work based on output, not location," says Allan Lawrence.
"Men are no less providers just because they work from home. What matters is productivity and family well-being."
For men like Mr Mutuku, the benefits outweigh the societal noise.
"My daughter gets to see me more, my marriage is thriving, and my career is intact. People can talk, but we’re living our best life."
As Kenya navigates this evolving landscape, one thing is clear: the definition of masculinity and work is being rewritten—one remote.
