In the typical Kenyan context, bullying occurs towards Form One students in the hands of the more senior ones often in Form Three.
The first and best known is physical bullying, where the bully inflicts actual physical harm to his victim.
Relational bullying is where for example girls would exclude the weaker ones from social activity including the sharing of ‘girl talk’.
QUESTION: I know this may have been asked before but I remain curious about the genetic wring in the minds of bullies. Are bullies normal people?
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For those with the responsibility of making sure that children attend school in a safe and secure environment, yours is a most timely question. It is, however, a more complex matter than is obvious at first, as you will soon understand.
To put the basics out of the way, let us state here that there is some evidence that suggests that genes might be at play in some instances of bullying.
The first evidence came by way of a study published in a respectable journal of child psychology and psychiatry, appearing in 2007. The suggestion then was, that both perpetrators and victims had some form of genetic predisposition.
Understandably, this report was followed by a great deal of controversy, because of the suggestion that abhorrent behaviour might be blamed on inheritance. Other studies have pointed in the same direction and have blamed other factors such as brain injury at birth as a possible associated factor in bullying behaviour.
I am not without my own story in the matter of bullies. I once made a speech at a school where I made the general statement that it was in fact bullies who needed help and less so their victims. The booing that followed did not allow me to finish my sentence, which would have clarified that this was the case only in some cases.
There is so much emotional energy around the subject that one must be very careful in attempting to deal with this or indeed any subject that involves the welfare of children.
So, let us start off with what bullying is, in the general case. It is said to take place when one causes harm to another (usually vulnerable) person, by intimidation. Such behaviour is also habitual, cruel, and involves threats to one perceived to be weaker in the relationship.
In the typical Kenyan context, bullying occurs towards Form One students in the hands of the more senior ones often in Form Three.
In such instances, because the older boys are bigger and stronger, the intimidation on account of this power imbalance is often severe and could lead to severe psychological and emotional consequences. It is for this reason that most boarding schools have clear rules on this behaviour.
In your question, you want to know if the bully is a normal person and if the bully has a brain that is wired differently. This is where we say that the answer is not as easy as we would like but we know a few things about bullying.
For a start, there are several accepted types. The first and best known is physical bullying, where the bully inflicts actual physical harm to his victim. In most cases, the initial stages would be by way of verbal bullying and are, sometimes in adolescence, accompanied by acts of excluding the weaker person.
The second type is verbal in which there is no physical contact but in the typical case, there are abusive and sometimes derogatory words uttered. In other cases, nicknames and false rumors are the mode of abuse.
Relational bullying is where for example girls would exclude the weaker ones from social activity including the sharing of ‘girl talk’. This can be a terribly upsetting form of bullying.
The last and most recently recognised is cyber bullying, which takes place via different social media platforms, and which can be equally harmful to the adolescent.
So, what did I intend to say when I upset my audience who booed me?
All I was saying is that the typical bully is an emotionally insecure person who lacks social skills. Many show evidence of low self-esteem and have inflated but fragile egos. It was for this reason that the bully and his victim need help.
Some people become bullies because they were bullied at an earlier stage of life. Sadly, some people become bullied because of things they should be proud of. Some are just clever, others very obedient and still others very beautiful. Those jealous of these attributes sometimes become the bully.
There is more than ample reason to worry about bullying particularly in our schools because some children who are depressed can be bullied to the point of suicide.
For some boys, acne that is so common in adolescence is the cause of bullying and exclusion. Some children have gone to the extent of refusing to go to school on account of the fear of bullies.
Problem-solving skills are known to help many boys and girls as they navigate adolescence and they have been used in cases where bullies are on the prowl.
