Personality change: What's going on with my otherwise brilliant boy?
If you suspect that your son might be using drugs or excess alcohol, it is additionally possible that his move to university away from the structure of family life, has exposed him to a life that has made lifelong symptoms of a condition like ADHD manifest for the first time.
My 22-year-old son left university a few months ago, stating that the future of mankind does not need degree holders. His long-term girlfriend also left him, saying he had changed into someone she could no longer recognise or love. He is withdrawn and does not seem to care about hygiene. What could be going on with my otherwise brilliant boy?
Your question does not reveal adequate details for us to give you a definite answer, but it is still possible to speculate as to why a brilliant 22-year-old might change to the point of abandoning university.
A few possible explanations come to mind, and at the top of the list are depressive illness, schizophrenia, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
Whichever of the foregoing turns out to be the problem, you might also be dealing with the additional problem of alcohol or other drug problems, all of which are common complications of mental disorders in general.
A while ago, we saw a young man who, according to his parents, was bewitched by a girl he had met on campus. Right from the day they met, he had, according to his mother, changed.
He stopped visiting home on Sundays, did not pray or go to church, and grew a beard. He started listening to secular music often associated with those who are of the rasta movement and are known to smoke cannabis. He spent all his time with the girl and her friends, and his demands for money rose exponentially.
Things took a turn for the worse when she left him for the son of a rich man, and after he attempted suicide, failing his examinations for the first time in his life, his parents decided to seek professional help.
At the end of the day, the poor girl from the university was innocent of all the charges, and it turned out that the young man had developed a mental illness, which first became apparent that year.
Following treatment for the schizoaffective disorder, he went back to school and completed his degree. He remains well and continues to see his doctor regularly.
During sessions of psychoeducation, the family was exposed to information about the possible causes of the illness and was taught how to recognise the early symptoms of such mental disorders.
Regarding your son, it is still possible that he has some other type of mental illness, and only an expert can determine what is best for him.
It might, for example, be possible that his belief that the future does not require a university education is part of the delusional system, or it might be that, like several specially gifted people, he finds his teachers slow and boring. Whichever turns out to be the case, an expert in mental health is a good starting point.
Many other possible explanations are available for where we find ourselves with your son, and the best option is for you to seek expert advice as early as possible since we know that early intervention, leads to the best outcomes.
The other possibility is that your son has a major depressive illness that has altered the way he perceives his own future and that his wish to stop school is part of a depressive syndrome that sometimes comes with a sense of deep hopelessness without the view of a future worthy of getting a degree. As in the case that we describe above, these could be indications of a schizo-affective disorder in the early stages of manifestation.
If you suspect that your son might be using drugs or excess alcohol, it is additionally possible that his move to university away from the structure of family life, has exposed him to a life that has made lifelong symptoms of a condition like ADHD manifest for the first time.
Away from the organising ways of his mother, some young people fall by the wayside at this stage.
Many other possible explanations are available for where we find ourselves with your son, and the best option is for you to seek expert advice as early as possible since we know that early intervention, leads to the best outcomes.
