Just the place for those who want a bed, shower and Wi-Fi

You have a few nights in Nyanza. Maybe it’s a funeral you are attending in your village and you don’t want to sleep there in a car with half of your long legs dangling out. Maybe you are a sales agent. Or maybe you are the boss to the sales agent.

Whenever in Kisumu, you would traditionally stay at the Imperial Hotel, but that’s before someone in the board banged the table and shouted angrily, “Are we running a luxury club here or are we trying to make profits for this company?” Budgets were then slashed after that meeting, which meant no more staying at the higher end hotels.

However, cantankerous and emotional board members aside, it was decided that there is no way your company will send people to a grubby hole in the town.

Budget

So next time you are in Kisumu, you find yourself at the Imperial Hotel Express, which is an offspring of Imperial Hotel Kisumu. It’s on Oginga Odinga Street, the heart of the city.

Imperial Express doesn’t want to be known for anything other than what it is; a budget hotel. You pay Sh5,000 a night and you get a bed, a continental breakfast and Wi-Fi.

The reception is basic and modest: two lovely rugs, four artistic seats. No paintings on the wall. It’s clean. It curves in at the right angles. There is a desk and a computer which from behind which a girl checks you in. She is one of the 10 members of staff manning these 55 rooms.

There are no fixed roles for the staff by the way, housekeeping can be at the reception. You are assigned a room, you carry your suitcase to the elevator because there is no porter, or concierge or bellboy or guard to press the lift that soundlessly climbs up the two-storeyed building.

Stunning view

A key card lets you into a small, comfortable but modern hotel room. All rooms are standard. Lights come on in the room upon sensing movement. There is a bed with white sheets.

There is a desk with a sexy transparent fibreglass seat. Over the desk is a lovely clock you wish you had in your house. There is fast Wi-Fi, air conditioning. Inside is a bathroom with solid fixtures. You get a mounted TV where you can catch CNN.

There is no mini-bar, sorry. You can’t make tea in your room, but there is a phone and a menu and if you call reception and order for a meal, it will cost you an extra Sh700 when they fetch it from Imperial Hotel not too far away on a swift delivery scooter.

You want your shirt ironed? You have to do it yourself, in a special ironing room somewhere in the hotel.

They say that the windows are sound-proofed but if you stand still and listen, you will hear the faint sound of cars passing outside. But why fuss about sound when you won’t be there during day? At night, sound empties out of the city like a tide.

Thankfully, if you get the right room, you will have a stunning view of Lake Victoria, past the dilapidated railway housing in the foreground.

They also thought about the disabled and built a special room. It’s much larger for the wheelchair to move around, it has low light switches and special bathroom amenities. Everything in the room is designed to make their lives more comfortable than our city planners have outside.

I asked Mike Kamau, the GM, how their hotel is different from The Vic Hotel - another bed and breakfast in Kisumu? “The Vic is about Sh8,000 a night, we are Sh5,000 and we have no frills at all. Our running costs here is only 20 per cent of our revenue.

Vic is a unique product for people who want a little more. We are for those who just want a decent place they can put their heads in at the end of the day.” he says.

All rooms are non-smoking but if you want to crisp your lungs, you can go up to the open rooftop where there are 26 solar panels that power the hotel and water tanks and there you can smoke as you look over the city.

No eggs

One more thing, breakfast is Continental. Most people get it wrong. Continental breakfast is cereal, fruit, tea/coffee, pastries, fruits, juices, marmalade.

Don’t ask for eggs and don’t ask for bacon. You eat from a small cozy restaurant area on the first floor. Then you leave.
Imperial Hotel Express as the name suggests is not for people who seek luxury or those who want to lounge around in the hotel. It’s for people on the move, people on a budget, express people.

It’s for people who have come for funerals, people who have come for a quick business meeting in Kisumu and don’t want to spend too much on accomodation but also don’t want to compromise on quality. It’s also for people who want Wi-Fi.